Why does it feel easier to make other Asian friends?

As someone who struggled growing up with double identities, I often wonder what group of people I most identify with and conform to. As someone who struggles to speak my native tongue or simply write my Korean name, I realized my reliance on my “Americanness” and its influence on what I perceive myself to be. Growing up as an immigrant, my biggest wish was to be accepted into the American culture and community. I would approach my white friends with hope that they would accept me as their own. I was lucky enough to have it easy making friends with this mindset, and I grew up surrounded by diverse friend groups. However, after entering university, I noticed a shift in the way I conversed with others and the diversity of friends. I became more interested in joining Asian clubs and befriending people of similar backgrounds. Although people emphasize that you should never judge a book by its cover, I did exactly that. Although it may seem weird and biased for me to selectively go after Asian people to converse with and possibly build friendships with, I had a strange inclination. That got me thinking, why does it feel easier to make other Asian friends as an Asian?

University is a place for new experiences and life lessons, and oftentimes an overwhelming one. Finding your place in college can be hard, especially when you don’t know a lot of people to start with. Finding friends wasn’t so difficult for me as I went to a high school nearby, but I can imagine how difficult it would’ve been if I was from out of state. However, one easy method I found when befriending people with similar interests and backgrounds was joining the Asian organizations at university. In my freshman year, I attended multiple Asian RSOs—Filipino Student Association, Vietnamese Student Association, Asian Awareness Perspectives and Connections Magazine, Japanese Culture and Language Club, and others. I already had friends from high school that are going to the same university, but I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and find new groups of people. That decision might have been the best decision I ever made, because I discovered a new environment full of friendly and welcoming people that I could already relate to on a cultural level. 

I have made many friends that I am still very close to today from these Asian organizations. I have realized from my college experience that interacting with people from your cultural background may serve as a good way to connect with people. I found it easier to befriend Asian friends due to relatability and convenience. I am in no way trying to stereotype all Asian people, but I have to admit that a lot of Asian people have similar interests. We like to rave, drink boba, watch anime, and listen to Keshi/Joji. Knowing that you already share those same interests with someone helps provide an easy way to converse with them. We also share similar experiences that help us relate with each other. I think on a personal and social level, it’s just easier to talk to someone that looks similar to you because they seem more approachable.

I am a strong advocate for having a diverse group of friends as that is best in learning and understanding different cultures. I love all of my friends equally and I’m so grateful to have them by my side throughout college. However, if you are having any trouble finding people to befriend, I definitely recommend joining your cultural and ethnic clubs and organizations at your school. You may find some valuable and life-lasting friends there