Silent Thanks: Unspoken Ways Asian Families Show Appreciation

Asian households are known to be strict, and the children are known to be disciplined from a young age. Many Asian children don’t learn to show their appreciation for things from a young age because they never had anyone to teach them. Though the parents do a wonderful job teaching their children how to respect others and how to act in public, they often forget to teach them how to show their appreciation. Does this mean that no one in an Asian household shows appreciation? Absolutely not. It means that it just may not be in the way that many people around the world are used to being appreciated. In the US, in particular, I have noticed that people are very verbal with their feelings and often don’t even think before letting someone know how they feel. However, this becomes difficult for a child that never had a family that is so direct in these matters. This doesn’t mean that there is no expression of feelings; it’s just very subtle and passive. Instead of “I love you” or “I’m sorry”, it means a quiet question of whether you have eaten, or if you would like to eat something that they know is your favorite. Though it is not clear and may seem like a peace offering after a fight, it is still a quiet consideration of your feelings. I think that this is a common occurrence in households across Asia, as many of us show appreciation through actions instead of words. This can occur because of the belief in many east asian cultures that a verbal expression of feelings is not enough, and there must be a more meaningful action taken to fully express what they are feeling. Thus, the words that many children are missing in their childhood become actions that they subconsciously take for their loved ones later in life. Sometimes, being considered by others with no complaint and not a single word spoken can be the ultimate way to show love and appreciation for others.