WOMEN IN MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL AMID COVID-19: A “BREAK” FROM TRADITION

The Mid-Autumn Festival, otherwise known as the Moon Festival or the Mooncake Festival, is one of the most important and age-old festivals in East and South Asia, dating back to 3000 years ago. It is held on the 15th day of the 8th month according to the lunar calendar when the moon is considered to be roundest, fullest and brightest. 

The festival has different implications across various countries: while East Asian countries like China, Korea, and Japan celebrate the festival for the sake of successful harvest and (extended) family reunion, Vietnam dedicates the festival to their children, thus dubbed as “the Children’s Festival”. Despite these variations, all celebrations revolve around the moon – one of the core Asian cultural icons symbolizing prosperity, peace and harmony.

Normally, there are a lot of festive activities during the Mid-Autumn Festival, ranging from ancestral rites and culinary feasts to performance arts and traditional games. If you accidentally stroll along the streets on those days, chances are you would find yourself amazed by the mystic light of thousands of lanterns of all kinds under the moonlight, immersed in the upbeat atmosphere of lion dances, excited by the mere variety of flavorful and colorful mooncakes, and intrigued by the traditional “circling the toad” games. 

However, if you afford to look away from the bustling streets and into each house, more specifically each kitchen, you will see a completely different scene: deft hands, profuse sweats and bending backs of grandmas, moms, daughter-in-laws, and daughters making food trays for ancestor worship, cleaning the house, and decorating the five-fruit trays. 

What seems to be a holiday for everyone turns out to be just for a few when women labour all day long to carry out their duties as the maintainer of the household. 

However, let me do my job once again to remind you that the old normal no longer exists during a pandemic that has taken away 1.14 million lives worldwide. The new normal now is wearing masks, travel restrictions and social distancing at all costs. 

That also means, probably for the first time, the Mid-Autumn Festival no longer entails crowded gatherings, huge feasts and demanding ancestral rites of extended families. For women, it is also their first time of enjoying the festival, no matter how unusual it is, for themselves. 

My mom, for example, finally had the time to make her favorite lotus tea, binge watch her latest K-drama, and practice yoga. As for me, a I-just-turned-18 woman, I spent that time pondering over the deep-seated gender inequalities imposed on women during these festivals, besides doing my homework, of course. 

Under the influence of Confucianism, which still permeates the modern Asian society till today, the ideal role of women is strictly tied to motherhood and household management. Despite their increasing participation in the job market, women are expected to carry out their responsibilities, as a Vietnamese saying cited, 

“[women should be] capable of national affairs and responsible for housework” (giỏi việc nước, đảm việc nhà). 

Women, regardless of their marital status, all have their share of work: married ones take care of their children, husband, and in-laws, while single ones tend to their siblings and blood-related families so that they look “worthy” in the eyes of their future husbands.

This deeply problematic stereotype is a direct result of the persistent patriarchal gender norms that have enabled men to dominate every aspect of the economic, political and social life. When it comes to extended family gatherings, the stark differences between women and men are magnified even clearer.

Out on the yard, men entertain themselves with chess games, cigarettes and beer; down in the kitchen, women bend over backwards to prepare meals for the whole family. In such an important occasion like family reunions, nothing is more important than collective happiness. Yet, getting everyone well-fed and satisfied means sacrificing a day off of women who also work hard in their workplace. 

But women are rendered subservient to not only their husbands, but also their in-laws. Once a woman is married to a man, she is considered a member of the husband’s family and supposed to serve them with her whole heart. This means she may have to detach herself from her blood-related families, more or less “selling” herself to her in-laws.

This notion of loyal service for in-laws originated from the Confucian three principles of obedience: a woman’s first obedience is to her father before she is married, to her husband while she is married, and to her son after her husband dies.

Even though societal values have changed towards greater liberty, the legacy of this view still affects several daughters-in-law as they have no choice but to serve their in-laws on holidays, festivals, gatherings and rites. In an interview with NPR, a woman expressed,

“From a daughter-in-law’s perspective, it’s difficult to understand why we have to do so much hard work when it’s not even for our own ancestors”

But out of respect for their in-laws and husband, women still do the lion’s share of work. 

Luckily, this year, they finally have a break for themselves. This blessing in disguise comes in a timely manner to rescue them from the burden of service and allow them to get a taste of freedom. Maybe after this break, these women will muster up the courage to stand up and say it out loud, “What about us?”.