Unspoken Struggles: A Gap with My Family

Like everyone else, I’ve had my ups and downs. I’ve struggled, felt lost, and been overwhelmed, but these thoughts have never been shared with my family. It’s not that I don’t trust them—it’s that I don’t want to burden them. There’s also a part of me that worries they might not understand how I feel; worse, I fear they might even be disappointed. My parents, specifically, are traditional Chinese immigrants—strong-willed and hardworking. I wanted to appear just as strong, capable, and independent—the person they raised me to be.

But in choosing not to share my struggles, I often felt disconnected from them, carrying burdens that might have been lighter if shared. In moments of stress—whether from academics, overthinking life, or self-doubt—I feared opening up would make them worry or, even worse, see me as weak and disappointed. They’ve worked so hard to provide me with opportunities, and I didn’t want to seem ungrateful or lazy or make them feel they had somehow failed me. So, I wore a mask of composure, convincing them everything was fine, even when it wasn’t.

Over time, holding it all in became exhausting. My parents can read me exceptionally well; they pick up on the tiniest of changes in me. They knew something was wrong but didn’t want to force me to open up. This unspoken tension made it harder for me to connect with them, as they weren’t seeing the other side of me. Sometimes, it even led to family arguments that might have been avoided if I had just spoken my truth.