Lies I’ve Told My Asian Parents (And Will Continue to Tell Them)

Growing up in a strict but loving household means navigating the trials of expectations and family traditions. In my journey, I’ve found that telling little white lies has become a survival skill. I know that sounds terrible but it works! Here are some common little lies I’ve told my Asian parents—and some I’ll probably keep telling them for years to come.

1. “I Never Go Out with Wet Hair” 

The classic fear my mom has against me: to go outside with wet hair. My mom surely believes this is a way to catch a cold, fever, or any other mysterious illness that might come upon me. The truth? I often run out the door to class or would leave the house to eat, with my hair still wet from the shower, claiming that I dried it enough to be considered “dry.” I know my mom would have a mini heart attack if she saw me outside with wet hair, so I assure her that I have dried my hair to an acceptable level of dryness.

2. “I Always Sleep with My Hair Dry” 

Alongside the wet hair conundrums comes another infamous myth: the dangers of sleeping with wet hair. While my parents theorize that this could bring dandruff,— hair loss, and headaches— I will admit that every day I shower before I sleep due to a long night of studying or a night out with friends. I am simply too tired to just dry it first before going to bed. To ease their worries, I tell them I dried my hair completely before going to sleep.

3. “I’m Not Going Out Tonight” 

I do enjoy going out with my friends every once in a while. Coming from a strict household means that I rarely had a chance to go out. When there does come a time when I am invited to a party while I am at college, I tell my parents that I am studying in my dorm, and quickly change my FindMyiPhone location to my iPad, so it shows the location that I am at my dorm. It is hard trying to balance the weight of their expectations alongside my desire for more independence.

4. ”Yes, I Thawed the Meat Earlier” 

When I am at home and before my parents go to work, they often ask me to take out the meat from the freezer and thaw it so it would be ready to cook for dinner. In reality, I might have completely forgotten to take it out of the freezer until just before they got home. This little white lie buys me time, allowing me to quickly run the meat under cold water to thaw it, hoping it’ll be ready before they walk through the door.

5. “I’m Fine” 

Whenever my parents ask how I am doing, I often respond with a cheerful “I’m fine,” even though I am not. The truth is sometimes I struggle with stress, anxiety, or just the challenges of daily life. After being diagnosed with anxiety, it has been difficult to function in everyday life activities. Mental health is not a prominently discussed topic in most Asian families. I stick to the response of “I’m fine” which keeps things simple and prevents unnecessary worry. 

The small lies I tell my parents often stem from a desire to balance my independence with their expectations. While they may not always understand my choices or interests, I know they always want the best for me. As I continue to balance my own choices with their love and guidance, I recognize these moments, however imperfect, contribute to my growth. Overall, it’s about finding a way to use my individuality with the values they’ve brought me up by—creating a path for life that honors both my journey and my parents.